The police cleared me of any responsibility. Well that meant nothing to my clients, they all paid for services rendered to date and terminated our association. I tried to get my lawyer to go after the police, coroner, and press for destroying my business and my life. The legal system protects itself well and covered dirt faster than a cat covering shit. I decided to have an estate sale, sell the contents of our home, sell the house and go somewhere, anywhere. I was a plague on my social group. Cherie had a large life insurance policy to which I was beneficiary. I had money to live on for a few years and maybe longer if I became a complete recluse. Time would tell. I loaded my car with the few things I still owned and watched my life disappear in the rear view mirror. I destroyed my iPhone, cancelled all my online social media accounts, and saved only a few pictures with special meaning. I bought one of those disposable phones and gave the number to no one. I was a free spirit. "Want to talk about it?" I invited her. She hesitated for several minutes before explaining the problem."Dad tried to make love to me tonight, and I wanted him so bad. My mind screamed to me to give myself to him, but my body wouldn't let me. He finally gave up and went to sleep, and even though I know, in my heart, that he's not angry with me, I feel so ... so... useless! He's the man that makes my world go around, and I can't even give him my body! What's wrong with me, Keith?" Maybe you're trying too hard, Beckie. What those guys did to you, no woman should have to put up with. But wounds like this take time to heal. Give yourself that time. I've had a few conversations with Carson, and I'm convinced that he loves you about as much as I love Tandra. Whatever it takes to help you get over this, he'll do it, and be there beside you through the whole thing. I know it, and you know it." But how do I make love to him if I can't even..." Tandra explained about you being dry. I think.
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